On a day like any other, I was standing at my desk working on a blog post while trying to come up with the appropriate words to write. Frustrated at my lack of progress, I turned, looked out the window for a moment then looked back to my screen.
My blog post had disappeared, but the infamous blue and white website we all know so well had replaced it.
Later that afternoon while working on another written piece, a co-worker walked into my office and interrupted me mid-sentence. After a quick conversation, I looked back at my Word document and found a sentence that looked approximately like this:
The efficiencies of quantum mechanics determine that sevfacebook
While that sentence is 100% fabricated, the example of what happened to the end of it is 100% true. For the second time that day, I had subconsciously typed the word “facebook” without realizing it, and it scared the crap out of me. I knew it was time for a change.
What started out as a simple way to connect with college classmates has become an all encompassing communication hub where we get our news, updates on family members while spending a heck of a lot of our time.
The average user now spends about 50 minutes per day on Facebook.
I’d venture to guess that the 50 minutes aren’t in a solid block either, occurring in small 2-3 minute chunks as notifications come in throughout the day.
These bursts create small interruptions, pulling us away from what we may be doing, eating, working on, or creating. It’s no accident that Facebook brings us back as frequently as possible. For the company, our attention equals dollars.
Like any habit loop, Facebook is designed to work its way into our brain as a trigger-habit-reward cycle that is incredibly difficult to break. At the surface, Facebook is a tool—not inherently good or bad—but its impact on our lives is determined by how we use it.
Imagine picking up a hammer 35 times per day and using it wherever you happen to be. When you need to drive in a nail, picking up a hammer makes a lot of sense. Otherwise, it would seem quite ridiculous.
Facebook is the hammer and connecting with friends and family is the nail. Everything else gets diminished by the hammer— our personal lives, intentions, and meaningful connections to the world.
If you feel like you’re losing the battle against the Facebook addiction twitch, there is help.
These suggestions are ordered from least extreme to most, allowing you to choose the options that are right for you.
Log out of the website. Make it so that you have to manually log in every time you want to use Facebook. Doing this will give you a few seconds to decide if you actually need to log on, creating intentional friction in the process. This strategy works best when on the computer, but can also work if you don’t use the Facebook app on your phone.
Temporarily block the site. By using a productivity browser extension like Strict Workflow, you can hit a button that will block any websites you don’t want to visit for a specific duration of time. Once break time comes around, it will allow you to go to the sites of your choosing. Click the button again, and the sites will be blocked while you focus. These blockers help reduce the number of times you may bounce to Facebook during a focus period.
Turn off all app notifications. It’s best when you intentionally decide to check Facebook, without hearing an alert that triggers your attention. Reduce distractions and the urge to check and scroll by turning off all notifications in the app.
Delete the app. While you can still use your mobile browser to check Facebook, doing this significantly reduces the notifications and helps break the twitch of being able to check the site so quickly. The app is made to be as low friction as possible and deleting it will help you avoid using Facebook when it’s less appropriate. Even more powerful is if you use the first tip and log out of the site, forcing yourself to log in on your phone.
Kill the newsfeed algorithm. If you’re habitually checking Facebook, one way to reduce the desire to do so is to have no new content come up when you do. You can use a browser extension called FB Purity to automatically reorder the newsfeed into chronological order. That way, Facebook won’t show you new content every time you open the site, and it will be much less interesting when you do visit and scroll.
Block the newsfeed completely. Using the same FB Purity app, you can select an option to delete the newsfeed all together. It will show up as a blank space in the middle of your screen and won’t entice you to scroll down if you need to log on to Facebook to post something or check on one of your business pages. You can take care of whatever you might need to for work and then be done with it.
Deactivate your account. Unfortunately, Facebook has made it ridiculously easy to reactivate your account… all you have to do is just log in again. But, the best way to break a habit cycle is to detox and rewire your brain from that habit. I’ve found that it takes at least five to seven days to break the initial ‘twitch’ habit cycle, so commit to at least that. Deactivate your account and log back in when you’re ready.
Delete your account. You have to dig around in your Facebook settings to find this option—but if you feel that Facebook isn’t benefiting you in meaningful ways, just get rid of it. If you want to keep your content, you can download your entire Facebook history in one small zip file and backup everything you’ve ever posted. To continuing sharing with others, you can start a blog where people can find you with a quick Google search and where you can share your life updates and learnings.
Throw your phone and computer into a ravine. If all else fails, find a property on which to homestead, grow your own food, and throw your electronic devices into the fire river of Mordor. There are fewer things better than some quality time in nature to help beat an addiction, and perhaps we need to take some extreme measures to ensure our own progress.
Facebook is a tool that just like any other, should benefit us when we use it. If you feel like it’s controlling your life a little more than it should, take steps to get it back to sanity. When used intentionally, it’s a valuable resource that allows you to connect in meaningful ways.
Interested in learning more? Check out what it was like for me to deactivate my Facebook account for 60 days, and my friend’s experience taking a social media sabbatical.
Jo says
February 24, 2019 at 4:21 pmThanks, Anthony! Especially loved the last tip, laughed aloud at the wonderful idea of getting back to nature and throwing the phone/iPad/computers, etc. in the ditch. Would that we all could, even for just a little while! I gave up fb some time last year, can’t remember when, but after the initial week have not missed it. Occasionally a friend will send me an email telling me they sent me a fb message so out of courtesy I check the message. Then I remind said friend I’m not on fb anymore. When I mentioned to another person that I ditched fb she later told me she’s decided to try stay off as well. How cool would it be to start a “No-More-FB revolution!” Thanks for your article…am going to post it on fb, then the next day delete my account. Cheers!
Martha says
August 2, 2018 at 11:06 pmThe link in this sentence is broken: “You can use a browser extension called FB Purity to automatically reorder the newsfeed
Anthony Ongaro says
August 7, 2018 at 2:12 pmThanks for letting me know, Martha! I’ve updated the link. 🙂
Marie-Anne Levert says
May 26, 2018 at 3:56 ambreaking my WWW and FB habit feels almost impossible.. deactivation of my personal page for a few days might work eventually!! In the past few months I have deleted many random groups I used to run, and just started to shut down a very large Volunteer one I founded 3 years ago, that was devouring my time and mental energy. Challenge is I spend an inordinate time running online auctions or posting stuff daily to get rid of, this week sorted the office and out will go filing cabinet, file sorter and multi compartment shelf unit.. all heavy clunky and no longer needed!! petty cash is much needed and things out the door this way helps.
Already some of your suggestions have helped me start to think of other ways to tackle this road to minimalism and my habits, the lousy time wasting ones that need shifting to increase the good ones again, Will keep listening to your youtube and other sugestions to see how to get my good habits started.. its 3 am here, so tomorrow will start with a walk around the block, daily!!
betty bigger in michigan says
April 13, 2018 at 1:14 pmI think I’d have to use the last suggestion and then check myself into a detox somewhere……but I am working on it….I did delete my old account and started bran new with my maiden name so I have less followers..just the ppl I love.
Anthony Ongaro says
April 14, 2018 at 1:03 amThe fact that you’re aware and already working on minimizing social media is great! Thanks for reading and leaving a note!
Lenny Boniface Jubilee says
March 6, 2017 at 9:36 amNice tips. FB addiction really not good for anyone. Hope I will control my fb addiction. Thanks
Deborah Glubb says
October 26, 2016 at 9:21 pmHi Anthony. Found you through The Blissful Mind/Create Lounge sites. While following The Blissful Mind one of my to do’s is a FB detox under my Soul/Practice unit. The FB page isn’t even mine it my husbands. I don’t actually have a FB page (aged 55). I managed his account. He has a terminal disease and his sisters live overseas. So I was always uploading photos of him or his mum for them to see how they were doing. I have a few negative vibes through his FB via his son. Basically his son would ask his dad what he thought of a messenger message that had been opened at so-and-so time. My husband would not have seen it yet especially during the day it I was at work, it would had popped up on my phone, I would think I had closed it down but it would show up like it had been read at so-and-so time. I found that pretty negative, as if I had been reading personal messages. They were nothing he wouldn’t have shown me anyway and asked me to reply to. I am now into day 20 of being logged out of his FB, and have filled that time with things like reading, gardening, and walking so much more pleasurable. I don’t miss it and unfortunately for his family it is a source of contact they miss out on, as his communication skills deplete with his condition. Amazingly I have found that if you de friend family members on FB it’s like you have disowned them from your life for ever. Come guys get a life, it’s just FB. Agree its another drug, we can choose to take or not. Now I know why I didn’t have a FB account in the first place.
marymargaretripley says
October 18, 2016 at 6:09 pmOne of my issues when deactivating my account was that I was the admin for multiple pages including my church’s page so eventually I had to go back on. Also I shared my blog posts on my personal as well as other FB pages I had to promote my blog. Without sharing the traffic to my blog is limited.
Cari Bentley says
September 22, 2016 at 6:40 amI deactivated yesterday to the horror of my family (how will they find me, well it’s called a cell phone or email, ha ha) and my goal is to start with a full seven days, see how I feel and go from there. I was wasting so much time mindlessly scrolling through. I have found that it may be better to just subscribe to email newsletters, utilize twitter on a limited basis and get news the old-fashioned way.
Great blog! I found you through Cait Flanders blog. 🙂
Eileen says
October 21, 2016 at 11:57 amI decided in Feb of 2012 to not use FB for a month. I was never really a huge user, but I could waste 10-20 mins a day on it . The political vitriol of even people I agreed with just made me sad (and I also hated any FOMO feelings I had). After 30 days of non-use I nuked it and never once felt bad about it. I recently made a new account due a friend who was in her final days of a cancer battle and I knew her husband was posting updates on FB. That’s the only “friend” I have currently (I made things as private as possible and didn’t provide any more info than req’d to start an acct).
I’ve given some thought to staying on FB but I honestly have not felt like I’ve missed out at ALL in these 4+ years. I do feel bad that I don’t see family photos from people spread out, but I get them occasionally via text or instagram. It’s really fine.
I’d highly recommend a break for anyone that has any negatives feelings about FB. If it makes you happy and you love, then of course keep it. If you have any trepidation, take a break!
Miri says
March 6, 2017 at 4:01 amI miss the days of purely texting!!
Monica says
September 18, 2016 at 7:30 amI had a pretty severe case of facebook addiction. I had to admit I had a problem with it and one summer, when on holiday, I decided to take a holiday from fb also so I deactivated my account for a week. It was hard and liberating at the same time, so liberating that a few months later I did it for two weeks. Less than a year later I decided to cancel my account. First I deleted all my albums and photos, then I just cancelled the account. That was two and a half years ago. Never felt better, now I actually talk to my friends at the pub in front of a cool beer or on the phone or skype if they live far. And I found out that the world didn’t end nor my social life 🙂 I apologize if I made mistakes in writing, I’m Italian so English is not my mother tongue.
holly says
August 31, 2016 at 3:13 pmWe have friends in their 40’s who have never had fb accounts and they are perfectly happy. I wish I was one of those lucky people that had not opened an account in the first place. I only did it because my husband was joining and I had the classic “fear of missing out”. Dumbest move ever.
Kathy Mader says
August 31, 2016 at 8:52 pmTotally agree with you, Holly. I had deactivated my account and was pretty much off of Fbook for months. Then the other day for my birthday, Fbook got sneaky and announced it. My husband said, You have lots of birthday wishes on fbook. So I had to go on to reply to those. I felt the pull to come back, but I’m going to stay strong because all the bad feelings started coming back quickly. This was a helpful article, wasn’t it?
Anthony Ongaro says
September 4, 2016 at 8:46 pmIt’s not too late to turn back! I hear you though, I have three or four friends that simply never signed up for it and they seem to be doing just fine 😉
Frugal Millennial says
August 26, 2016 at 1:56 pmThe Facebook addiction can get really out of control. I deleted the app from my phone, so that at least helps somewhat (although it’s still bad when I’m on a computer).
Anthony Ongaro says
September 4, 2016 at 8:50 pmIt’s serious! Try installing one of the chrome browser extensions to help curb the bite. It gets better!
Sandy says
August 22, 2016 at 6:10 amOn day 7 of deactivating FB. I am feeling more peaceful and feel like I am living more mindfully. I may or may not go back , but for right now am enjoying non facebook living very much.
Kathy Mader says
August 31, 2016 at 8:54 pmThat’s how I felt, Sandy.
Anthony Ongaro says
September 4, 2016 at 8:54 pmEnjoy it, embrace it, stay as long as you need. It’s practically guaranteed that it’ll be there anytime you want to go back. 🙂
ninaframbuesa says
August 21, 2016 at 4:36 pmFor years, I have found that keeping my friend list limited is really helpful. I clean out my friends at least once a year and check my liked pages every few years to make sure that the content I see is really what I’m interested in. As a consequence, I have a less busy news feed and spend much less time on facebook than I would if I had 300 facebook friends.
[email protected] and the Beach says
August 21, 2016 at 10:05 amThanks for the tips! I had never heard of many of them. At one point I had gotten FB under control and only checked once a day for any messages or people “getting a hold of me.” It actually made me happier because I wasn’t feeling any more FOMO (BTW I’m 45 and it seems ridiculous that I should be feeling FOMO-but I was). But then somehow I found my way back to the addiction. So I hope your tips will help!
Anthony Ongaro says
September 4, 2016 at 8:58 pmThanks Tonya! FB is a helluva drug… that’s for sure. Also, FOMO does not discriminate based on age… that’s for sure.