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Amy O.

Creating A Compassionate Personal Productivity Plan

Written by Amy O.

This is a recording of the live workshop on May 10, 2021, at 1 PM EST, featuring Amy Ongaro, on a more compassionate and customized approach to productivity.

We’ve all heard of different productivity hacks and methods—and perhaps you’ve tried a lot of them with lackluster results. In this workshop, we’ll walk through creating a personal productivity plan with a mindful, compassionate approach.

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Cheers,
Anthony

Keep Good Habits Going With Intentional Readiness

Written by Amy O.

intentional readiness

We’ve all done it. We start off with the best of intentions to work out regularly or to write daily. The first couple of weeks go great. At some inevitable point, we have a busy day or something comes up—and we fall off. Keeping up a new habit can be hard, but we can significantly improve our chances when we set ourselves up the best we can with intentional readiness.

With intentional readiness, we can reduce the friction and increase the ease in which we do the thing we’ve set out to do. That way, it’s easier to do the thing as planned—even when the unexpected happens or when we’re grumpy or tired. This concept is the opposite of intentional friction—what Anthony has shared—a Break the Twitch concept of adding more difficulty around an action you want to do less of.

A Tool For Change

Back in 2014, I was working full-time in a career that wasn’t right for me. In general, things were fine. I got along with my manager and team members in the office and across the world. I had set boundaries and implemented a work-life balance that was working okay. Even though I told myself that I had a lot to be grateful for, I felt hopelessly stuck and exhausted. Knowing that I was on the wrong career track took a heavy emotional toll on me. I had listlessly looked for other jobs in different fields, but nothing really stood out to me. In the absence of knowing what to do next, I didn’t want to keep on doing the same thing.

To help with the stagnancy I felt, I decided to meditate for an hour every day for three months. Ambitious, I know—not quite what I’d recommend for building a new habit. But I thought meditating for a long period each day would help with the stress; I also hoped some additional clarity would come out of it. I was determined to take on the challenge.

So, I cleared out a spot in the spare bedroom and laid out a yoga mat. I decided that since I was new to meditation, I’d allow myself different variations—listening to guided tracks, meditating with music and without music, going through book exercises, simply breathing, staring at the wall, and even journaling. I had everything for these variations readily accessible for whenever I sat down on the mat. Every night, I sat down on the mat, and the practice began. As long as I did one of the options on the mat for 60 minutes, it counted.

Sticky Status Quo

Unsurprisingly, it was quite difficult to meditate for an hour every day. It would’ve been much easier to turn on the TV or browse the internet like I was accustomed to doing most evenings.

I ended up meditating for an hour a day successfully for a little over two months before I decided to stop. While I didn’t do the full three months, the length of time I did was still an accomplishment. Meditating regularly was easier with a clear intention, with everything ready to go, and with a specific time slot to do it. Even better, doing this helped me gain more clarity. Through all those hours of reflection, I gathered the courage to make a plan to leave my job in the next six months.

The reality is, it’s often the easiest to stick to what we’re accustomed to doing. Meaning that without greater intention and preparation, it’s much harder to build and sustain new habits—especially with life’s distractions and curveballs.

Both Anthony and I have used intentional readiness and intentional friction to significantly change our lives over the years. We use readiness to make it easier to do the things we want to prioritize. Alternatively, we use friction to make it harder to do the things we want to deprioritize.

Intentional Readiness, Defined

Intentional readiness is the practice of preparing and setting up for the action you want to do more of, so it’s easier to do the action when the time comes.

There are three components to intentional readiness—setting your intention, planning and preparing, and scheduling.

1 / Set your intention

It starts with setting the intention. When setting your intention, the more specific you make it, the better. As an example, this could be wanting to eat more vegetables during the week. Even better would be eating one serving of vegetables Monday through Friday.

2 / Plan and prepare

The preparation part is gathering and preparing all the things you need for eating more healthy vegetables. This would include making a list of the vegetables you want to eat, shopping for the vegetables at the grocery store, and then washing, cutting, and storing them in ready-to-go containers in the fridge.

This is the most time-consuming part that many of us skip altogether or scramble to do when we think about taking action. Not having certain things prepared and set out beforehand only adds to the resistance of starting on the task or in this case, eating healthy vegetables. It increases the chances you’ll abandon the effort or postpone it until later.

3 / Schedule it

The final part is scheduling a specific time on the days of the week when you will plan on eating the vegetables. Let’s say you determine the best time would be lunchtime. That means at the designated time when you are about to eat lunch, you have the healthy vegetables ready to go.

Let’s take another example. You start with a general desire of wanting to be more active and exercise regularly. After some thought, you set your intention to go for a 20-minute walk every day. The preparation part would be setting your exercise shoes right by the door and laying out your workout clothes in advance. The scheduling part is deciding when you will go for the walk, ensuring that anyone who needs to know is aware you’ll be busy during that time, and putting it on the calendar.

Intentional readiness combines aspects of preparation and design so that when the moment comes, there is less work and less resistance around whatever your intended action is.

Why Intentional Readiness Is Important

With all the distractions enabled by technology and by our devices, it’s easy for us to be pulled away from what it is we want to do more of—especially if the required steps or components are not set up in advance.

Instant gratification is available at the press of the button across many devices and appliances in our lives. While this is beneficial, this also means that we are getting more accustomed to results and outcomes coming automatically and easily. With the click of a button, we are able to order whatever food or product to our doorstep. We can even have another human complete a task that you don’t want to do—like doing your laundry or running an errand through an app service like TaskRabbit.

This instant gratification doesn’t translate well when it comes to the things that no one else nor a device can do for you. This is why intentional readiness is important. When we practice intentional readiness, we are setting ourselves up with the greatest chance of success. With intentional readiness, even when something unexpected inevitably happens, we’re better prepared to still do that thing.

Focusing On What You Can Control

While it makes sense to just focus on what you can control, this can be easier said than done. Sometimes, because life can be so unpredictable at times, we try to control as much as we can to mitigate the unknown.

We may inadvertently end up trying to control things that we can’t possibly prevent. Things such as emergency situations, traffic, mix-ups, or technical difficulties, to name a few. We try to prevent these by worrying, catastrophizing, or putting off the decision or action. Even within ourselves, there are often seemingly mysterious forces at work (oh, well hello, Twitch). So we blame ourselves for not being able to do better or control ourselves better.

Yet, there is a fair amount we actually can control that we overlook. I smile now when I think back on ways I overly worried about things I couldn’t control, and at the same time, completely missed the things I could control. We can reduce a great deal of suffering for ourselves if we minimize the over-thinking and lessen the under-acting in our lives.

Intentional Readiness and Intentional Friction Combined

You can combine intentional readiness and intentional friction to help with what you’d like to do more of and discourage what you’d like to do less of. Through forethought and customized design when it comes to your goals, you’re focusing on what you can control. While you may have days when you don’t do the thing even with intentional readiness, you’ll have a better track record when you’ve put in the work of setting your intention, preparing, and scheduling.

Do you have things you want to do more of that could benefit from intentional readiness in your life? Give it a try, and remember, what’s more important than good habits is to restart and keep on going.

Overcoming Procrastination With The Habit Rule Of Half

Written by Amy O.

habit rule of half

Writing things down on a to-do list is what many of us do, myself included. Not only do lists help me remember what tasks or projects I need to tackle, but they also keep me accountable. Having a way to keep track of things helps me to prioritize and stay organized and productive. But you know that one thing on your list that sits for days without getting done? It’s the one thing that moves from one day’s list to the next day’s and the next day… If you experience this too, you’re not alone. A couple of years back, Anthony came up with a procrastination hack called the Habit Rule of Half. This simple rule has helped us to overcome procrastination and get those hanging tasks done.

Why We Can’t Finish Our To-Do Lists

Some tasks are straightforward and easy. We simply complete the task and move on.

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Others aren’t like that. Resistance is what we feel when we encounter certain tasks on the to-do list. Perhaps we’re not entirely sure how to go about the task, and the lack of clarity adds to the resistance. Maybe it’s the fear of failure, of judgment, or of making a mistake. We end up procrastinating and avoiding those things we can’t bring ourselves to get started on.

If there’s any aspirational clutter in the mix, the combination makes it even worse. We feel torn between all the things we want to do and all the things that we need to get done. When we feel the resulting internal tension, there’s an impact on our ability to focus and get started.

It’s common to experience angst when the tasks remain uncompleted and no progress is made—which increases the pressure we feel. The greater the pressure, the greater resistance we often feel. This increased resistance leaves us feeling worse, and gets in the way of completing the task, finishing the project, or reaching the goal.

Applying the Habit Rule of Half

Anthony was determined to find a solution, a procrastination hack, that could help. At the time, we were working hard to build new habits and make progress on the things that were important to us.

He created a simple rule called the Habit Rule of Half, that’s worked well for us over the years.

Here’s how it works. If a task is left uncompleted at the end of the day, cut it in half and add it to the next day’s list. If it doesn’t get done by the end of that day, cut it in half again and add it to the next day’s list. Keep doing this until the task becomes small enough to tackle.

You can apply the Habit Rule of Half to whatever it is you keep on postponing or pushing off. Household projects, work assignments, taxes, budgeting, or researching something. Writing a blog post or making a YouTube video. Even things like walking, exercising, jogging, or bicycling.

For example, you have a goal to jog four miles, but you haven’t managed to break out your sneakers. In this case, you’d cut this in half and write, “jog two miles” on the next day’s to-do list. If you still don’t do it, write down “jog one mile” for the following day. Keep cutting the distance (or the time or the amount) until you make it out the door. Keep on cutting it in half until it gets to a small, bite-sized chunk that seems easy to do.

A More Compassionate Approach

While the Habit Rule of Half is a simple concept, it’s often much harder in practice. The concept goes against what our inner critic usually thinks would be the best way forward. We think, “Well, I’m now behind, so I need to do more to make it up.” So we put more pressure on or add more to the task in an effort to catch up. This may work for some people—but from my experience, this leads to less motivation and greater stress and resistance over time.

Adding more pressure was how I “motivated” myself for two decades—and it worked at best, okay—until it no longer did. Eventually, I burned out. We can also end up getting more overwhelmed or find ways to avoid or make excuses for the things we need to do altogether.


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There are usually reasons why we don’t do the things we want or need to do. As humans, our natural state is to want to do things, to make progress, and to contribute. So if we’re struggling with something, it’s not that we’re lazy or that we’re not good enough. There are usually underlying reasons of fear, insecurity, or self-sabotage happening under the surface. At least that’s what Anthony and I have found.

The Habit Rule of Half can be a more compassionate approach to making progress on the things we feel resistant towards. If a to-do item isn’t getting done day after day, it doesn’t matter how many times you put it on the list. Any small amount of progress is better than the to-do item dragging on unaddressed. In a way, you’re practicing compassion for your tomorrow self by cutting the to-do item in half and seeing how it goes the next day.

The Hardest Part

It can be tempting to think you’re simply lazy if you’re not getting something done—that if you go easier on yourself, you will just continue putting it off. Therefore, as the distance, time, or amount of your task halves, it might not seem like this will help you make any progress at all. And so you continue to put the pressure on. However, this becomes a catch-22, a sort of convoluted avoidance tactic our brains use to keep us “safe” from dealing with what’s under the resistance.

The hardest part is often getting started. Once you are out there walking, you are more likely to actually tackle the original distance or time you wanted to do. This is why the Habit Rule of Half is effective. If we cut what might feel like an overwhelming task in half, starting then seems more manageable. While it’s no magic bullet, it can help in reducing the resistance and making progress. And once we get the ball rolling, it’s much easier to continue the momentum and get into the flow.

So the next time you notice a task moving from one day to the next, try a more compassionate approach with the Habit Rule of Half and see what happens.

How To Identify and Deal With Aspirational Clutter [Member Content]

Written by Amy O.

As mentioned in the article on aspirational clutter, getting rid of the things you do want is a different game—one that may be more difficult than decluttering what you don’t want. While decluttering may seem challenging at first, after some practice, many of us get the hang of it. For those who could use a refresher or if you’re new to decluttering, give the Declutter audio series a listen. You may also find different decluttering methods helpful.

At some point though, you’ll start getting into the aspirational clutter territory. And that’s where many people, myself included, have encountered difficulties in decluttering further.

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Instantly unlock secret member content, digital co-working sessions, the massive audio course library, and more by becoming a member today. Check out the Collective page for more details.

Cheers,
Anthony

How Aspirational Clutter Holds You Back

Written by Amy O.

aspirational clutter

When Anthony and I first began our minimalism journey, we had no idea what to expect. It felt challenging at first to declutter our things but it got easier as time went on. Over time, we realized that clutter goes far beyond physical things. Clutter exists in digital, emotional, mental realms, and the list goes on. And whether it’s physical or not, one of the most difficult categories to declutter is what I call aspirational clutter.

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The Easier Stuff, What You Don’t Want

When we initially started decluttering, our efforts focused on physical things. The idea of going through all the items was overwhelming at the beginning. Also, the decluttering process definitely made the home situation worse before it got better.

It was difficult back then to get rid of things that would be easy now. One item at a time through playing minsgame, I steadily got more comfortable. I went from counting old business cards as items at the start to donating barely-worn clothing and basically-new appliances towards the end. We both did multiple rounds of minsgame that first year, and soon, we began decluttering organically and periodically as we saw fit. I got used to decluttering the things that were no longer adding value to my life, whether utilitarian or sentimental. It got to the point where I didn’t feel like I had many more things to declutter.

So I began focusing on the other areas. Cleaning up, organizing, and deleting old digital files that were no longer useful. Diving into emotions from the past I was holding onto so I could release them. Working to let go of unproductive mindsets and beliefs that kept me from trusting myself and building more confidence.

Aspirational Clutter, What You Do Want

Along the way, I realized there was a whole other category to declutter. One that was vastly different from the things I didn’t want anymore in my life. And that was aspirational clutter. It’s one thing to declutter items that you don’t want anymore. It’s a whole different game to declutter the things that you do want (or think you want).

Aspirational clutter is the excess of what we hold onto for our potential selves instead of who we are and what we’re able to do in the present.

Aspirational clutter can take shape in different forms. It can be the yoga mat you buy (the false first step) after envisioning yourself balancing on one foot under a tree on a beautiful spring day—even though you’ve never tried yoga before. It’s an idea in your head of who you could be if only you had this or that. Maybe it’s a belief that feeling happy all the time is the gold standard and anything less isn’t good enough. It could be a vision of what success looks like to someone else, not your personal definition of success.

Underlying Feeling and Weight

The underlying feeling of not-enoughness that results in holding onto the item or idea is what aspirational clutter causes. Aspirational clutter stems from a (sometimes unconscious) belief you are not good enough. Another form is the belief that you’re not doing enough as you are. So you cling to the physical item, idea, or to-do list item, even though it’s not adding anything beneficial to your life. You may feel a sense of failure, guilt, or shame whenever you see anything that reminds you of what you’re not doing.

There’s also an emotional and mental weight to the aspirational clutter, whether you realize it or not. It’s similar to when your coffee table is cluttered with many different items. You may not notice the stress that the physical clutter is adding because you’re gotten used to it. But once you’ve cleared the table is when you realize how much lighter and more focused you feel. Similarly, aspirational clutter adds additional stress so we’re not as able to focus on what’s going on now.

When we hold onto aspirational clutter, we think about other things when we are doing another thing. We expend energy feeling not-enough and feeling like we should be doing more. Ironically, we can mistakenly think that these are good things. We may think the clutter is good since they are often in the name of personal growth, an increase in social status, or some improvement.

Examples of Aspirational Clutter

Things that used to be aspirational clutter for me were old notebooks filled with my notes from past courses that I thought were important. There were also books that I held onto for later reference, but realistically, were more for who I wanted to appear as than an actual need.

Beyond physical things, I had hundreds of unread emails that I meant to read—of the latest news or research in a field. It wasn’t feasible to read all of them, but I held onto them because what if there was some piece of information in there that could really benefit me?

Aspirational clutter also included definitions of success based on others who were completely different than me. Additionally, I held myself to standards in the past that weren’t for me because I didn’t know who I really was.

Merging the physical, digital, mental, and emotional, was my aspirational list of what I wanted to get done for the day. I’d start each day with so much aspirational clutter that it probably would’ve taken me weeks to do all of the things. Therefore, I’d get two or three things done out of a list of ten things at the end of the day. It’s no wonder I constantly felt like I was behind and that I never had enough time. Even if I didn’t put the thing on my to-do list for the day, I still was thinking about it. I would be reminded of certain things and think about them while working on something else. I didn’t fully realize at the time just how much aspirational clutter was weighing me down.

An Ongoing Process

I’ve since gotten rid of old notebooks and many books. I’ve also unsubscribed from and deleted thousands of emails over the years. Examining my beliefs and ideas is something I’ve spent a great part of the last year doing. Nowadays, I’m much more realistic about what I’m able to take on each day and month. However, it’s an ongoing battle.

Managing aspirational clutter is an ongoing process because there will always be new interests and more things that I want. It’s part of the natural evolution of what it means to be human. As social beings, it’s difficult not to be influenced by others and by what we see. It’s easy to compare and feel like you’re not enough, especially with social media and advertising.

What’s Not Aspirational Clutter

Aspirational clutter doesn’t include the long-term goals you’re working towards or your vision of where you’re going. It’s also not something that you have a use for in your life. It can be tricky at times to tell what is what, but one distinction is whether it’s fully aligned with what you actually want—not what you wish you could be. The other distinction is if you have space in your life right now or an intentional plan for later.

If you have space for and make time in your life to do yoga, even if it is only periodically, a yoga mat is not aspirational clutter. When you have an intentional plan around creating space for a new hobby, it’s not aspirational clutter. I’ve compiled a list of questions I ask myself to help me identify what’s aspirational clutter and what’s not.

Intention is Key

Perhaps, after some reflection, you realize you do have space to take action on the thing. Or maybe you really don’t have the time right now. It’s okay to have ideas and physical items on the back burner for when you do have space. Whatever you end up deciding, setting your intention is key to releasing the aspirational clutter.

When you have a clear intention to postpone, the thing no longer has any weight or feeling of obligation. It can be beneficial to avoid the false first step until you have space in your life. That way, you won’t have un-used items sitting around for months or years reminding you what you aren’t doing.

One other thing to keep in mind is, not all ideas are meant to be yours. Just because you have an idea or a physical item that you want, doesn’t mean you need to keep it or do something with it. Even if something seems cool or interesting, it may not be a true fit for you.

Release the aspirational clutter so you can better focus on what’s going on now. However, pay attention to the ideas or things that come to mind again and again. There may be a reason they keep on coming back to you. It’s worth thinking about making an intentional plan of how and when you’d have space to act on these recurring items.

Another Way Forward

So how do you know what’s aspirational clutter and what’s not? And what are the steps you can take to deal with the aspirational clutter that’s weighing you down?

As mentioned earlier, identifying aspirational clutter can be difficult. Doing so requires a level of awareness and being honest with yourself. I know firsthand, easier said than done.

I’ve come up with questions I ask myself that help me identify the aspirational clutter. Additionally, I go through a step-by-step process to release this type of clutter. Given the nature of aspirational clutter, the process is different from decluttering the things you don’t want anymore.

Life without all the aspirational clutter is a lot less stressful. We all have periods of time that are busier. But if you constantly feel like there are too many things to do and not enough time, there’s likely aspirational clutter weighing you down. If you’re feeling overwhelmed on a consistent basis, it’s worth asking yourself what is the aspirational clutter in your life. Know that there is another way forward, one that I’ve found to be more beneficial and where I’m more at ease.

5 Tips to Improve Personal Productivity with Mike Vardy [Member Content]

Written by Amy O.

This is a recording of the live workshop on February 17, 2021, at 12 PM EST, featuring Productivityist founder, Mike Vardy, on strategies to improve your personal productivity in life and work.

Sign in to your Attention Collective account to view this page. 

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If you’re already an active member, just sign in, and you\’re good to go.

Instantly unlock secret member content, digital co-working sessions, the massive audio course library, and more by becoming a member today. Check out the Collective page for more details.

Cheers,
Anthony

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